Five Reflections on Time Off

that might just help with time on

I want to express thanks to Northfield Baptist Church for extending a four-week sabbatical to Carrie and me. It was a wonderful time, and it went by faster than you’d think. So, while I don’t really intend to issue a report about it, I do want to share a few thoughts that might be helpful to anyone regardless of when or how they spend their time off.

I don’t know if Socrates really said, “the unexamined life is not worth living,” but whoever did was probably a little full of himself. Whatever it is I’m doing here is NOT a matter of life and death. OK, now that that’s out of the way, I do still think there is something to be gained by periodic reflection. And since our experience was unlike anything we had before, it is a good idea to write down some ideas. Maybe the act of putting thoughts into words helps us hold on to the ideas (currently loose ideas swirling around in my head) and make them more valuable for the future.

5 Reflections on Some Time Off

1. Say Yes

Whether it’s running to the store with a family member or going on an overnight trip, I don’t want to do that. But when I’m on vacation, most of my excuses are gone. I like my plans, my routine, my time. My default reaction to you wanting to change those is a bit negative. I mean, you want to go to the library? Then why didn’t you schedule that five days ago? I’m overstating, but you get the idea. But when I’m off, I’m not tired or busy. I don’t have a deadline to meet. I’m, well, free. That means I almost have to say yes to those little opportunities (or maybe big ones) or else I’m at risk of forever being branded a real dud. So, it turns out that yes is usually more interesting and adventuresome than no. Other people like yes better. A yes might lead to something. A no? Probably not.

Oh, you don’t have to tell me. I fully understand that every yes is a no to something else. You have to prioritize your yesses. Kids need plenty of vitamin N (no). And so on. Maybe that’s what you need to hear more about, I don’t know. But some of us are naturally pretty good at sticking with our own priorities.

Here's the thing. Many of life’s opportunities don’t really need an open schedule to be able to say yes to them. Saying yes does not always have to mean lots of time. It does not have to mean you’ll do the best job ever. It just means you see the opportunity has value because the people behind it have value. And if you say no enough, eventually people will stop asking, and that’s not really what you want. Maybe sometimes. But not all the time. Not really.

2. Do It Now and Do It Later

During the first week I was off, I immediately did some work around the house. It was work I enjoyed and was looking forward to. In the lead up to the sabbatical, I created a mental list of some projects I wanted to do. So, it was all expected, and fun, and a good way to busy myself before the reality of time off really set in. (If you know, you know.) But upon reflection, I don’t think any of those jobs really needed a lot of time off to accomplish them. I probably could have started on any of those things at any “regular” time, even if I had to come back to them later. Yeah, I get it. Some household projects need to get done in a day or so because of the inconvenience they place on everyone living there. But a lot of them…so what if they’re in progress until the next day—or night—off? Now, if you have a hundred started, and incomplete, projects around your house, you can ignore this; you need a different lesson. But for me the takeaway is, do it now but don’t kill yourself trying to get it done if you don’t have to. You can come back to it later. And if it’s a project you enjoy, all the better.

3. They Might See It Better Than I Do

Something weird happened near the end of the time off and at the beginning of starting up again. People mentioned to me how they thought the time off was good for me, that they could “see” it. Well, I think those people might be full of baloney, or maybe they’re just saying nice things. I mean, my typical schedule isn’t crazy, and I don’t usually have tremendous ups and downs that I need to recover from. I didn’t feel burned out going into sabbatical (though I was, and am, very grateful to have it), and I certainly don’t feel like a new man coming out of it. And yet if enough people say it was good for me, or that they like me better now, or that I’m less of a jerk than I was, I should probably pay attention. Maybe they’re on to something. I don’t know, but it’s possible—just possible—that the people closest to me have a pretty good grasp of how I’m doing and might see the lights on the dashboard better or sooner than I do. Needs more study.

4. We’ll Have to Do This Again…Sometime

Carrie and I got a chance to spend some extra time with friends and family, some of whom we don’t see nearly as much as we ought. We thought those times were special. I mean they were valuable. Yes, they were fun, but they were more than that. They mattered. And I’m sure you know how they ended, with everyone saying, “This was good. We’ll have to do this again sometime.” But that “sometime” is a problem. At best, it doesn’t mean anything. At worst—or if you’re a man—it means, “we should but we probably won’t.” Waiting for extra time off might be a long wait and normal life has real restrictions. We can’t easily “do it again” with certain visits. So we have to find other ways to keep up with what matters. Fortunately, we live in a time when it’s never been more possible to keep up with and encourage people you can’t be with in person very much. We’re pretty smart. We can find a way.

5. There’s No Vacation from Life. There’s Just Life.

I’ll admit. There was something about the days we spent in Mexico that felt like a vacation from life. But it wasn’t. The resort meals and activities were all included. But that just means we already paid for them. Mexican pesos might look and feel like they’re not real money (so you can spend them like water). But they are. I had a great time with Carrie. But that has more to do with our relationship in Ohio than in foreign lands. Then, including that part of the trip, we took off four weeks in a row. That’s great, but for several reasons, not practical for us most years. Whatever your schedule is like, you don’t really get a vacation from life. You just get your life. That means you need to focus on what matters, not just in your time off, but in your time on. Sabbaticals, vacations, and time off happen too infrequently to wait for them to make adjustments in your life. Make them now. Set goals now. Say yes now. Reconnect with friends now. Enjoy God, your family, and your work now. I think we’ll be glad if we do.

What about you? Did any of this connect with you? Anything else to add? I’d love to hear your reflections on time off.

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