Keep Going
There is more than one way to set and reach your goals.
I’m going to be a little contrary. I don’t want to be negative; I’m actually hoping to encourage you. I just want to highlight a common theme I see in a lot of articles and social media posts. I don’t know if there’s a name for it, but it goes something like this: “6 reasons why you should do (the thing I like).” Or maybe: “It’s time for (certain people) to stop doing (that thing).” It’s everywhere. Basically, we’re bombarded with opinions, disguised as expertise, telling you that you’re a bad spouse, parent, worker, Christian, or whatever, if you’re not as invested as the author/speaker is, in something they just decided, like, 15 minutes ago. Oh, I’m not against the distribution of helpful information and suggestions. I guess I chafe at the idea of people who don’t know me telling me what I need. OK, I don’t like people telling me what to do. Neither do you. But it’s not just that. It’s that even though you thought your life was fine, someone shows up to tell you it is not and what you should do about it. (Oh, I sense the irony of a pastor saying this. Just remember, if pastors are teaching God’s Word, it’s God’s Word. If they’re airing opinions, it's opinions.)
Sometimes these opinions sound authoritative because they are built on a sound premise. But often, the conclusion does not necessarily follow, at least not as a requirement.
Since God made parents responsible for their children (true), you must do this very particular thing for school and that very particular thing for children’s ministries at church. (Not true, even if those are good ideas.)
Since Granny liked it when we sang these old Christian hymns to her in the hospital (an awesome thing to do), you must teach all the old hymns at church. (Um, that’s not what that means.)
Since you’re in a covenant relationship with your spouse and need to actively strengthen that relationship (Rock on!), you have to do a weekly date night or else you stink and deserve to fight all the time! (Oh please.)
Since debt, especially consumer debt, puts someone at a disadvantage financially and in other areas (Yep!), you simply must pay for everything with cash! In 2023! (Gimme a break.)
Oh, the list goes on. Don’t get me started on diet and exercise. But I’m interested in your experience with this. Leave a comment to share what else could be added to the list.
OK, you get it. Just chill out, right? Not really. I’m not talking about balance or moderation. Like, sometimes you should be like Jesus and other times, not so much. Or sometimes you should be a good parent and faithful spouse, but not all the time. You get the idea. Balance and moderation can be good, but they can also be nice words to excuse bad (or lazy) behavior.
I’m not suggesting we set the bar low in every area of life and just be content to bop along in mediocrity. But I am saying there is more than one way to set and reach our goals. Here’s my bottom line: If you’re setting and reaching your goals, then maybe don’t give much thought to someone who tries to invalidate your results. If you’re actively working to become the kind of person you and your God want you to be, according to the principles you believe in, then keep going! When you’re growing as a person you don’t need to be worried about someone telling you you’re doing it wrong. (Naturally, if you are not growing as a person, then you probably should listen to someone with a different approach. We all have blind spots and can use a little help sometimes. That’s a given, right?)
“Whatever you do, work heartily, as for the Lord and not for men, knowing that from the Lord you will receive the inheritance as your reward. You are serving the Lord Christ.” (Colossians 3:23–24, ESV)
“So, whether you eat or drink, or whatever you do, do all to the glory of God.” (1 Corinthians 10:31, ESV)
Now, it’s true that a growing person is also looking for insights about how to keep going. That’s different. There’s a lot of wisdom out there and we can learn from people who have been where we are. God did build us to live in community. But that’s not the same as someone saying others have to do things their way. We’re free from that. It’s a matter of authority. If I want someone to do what I want, then I’ll do whatever I can to make myself sound more authoritative. Confusing facts and opinion, adding personal passion (especially if it’s linked to trauma, regret, or grievance), and conflating one course of action with the only course of action, are all ways to sound more authoritative. But we really do have to distinguish between moral, right-and-wrong, “thus says the Lord” kind of stuff, and the stuff we just like best. I’ve been around people my whole life who have equated their preference for what works and absolute morality. For 48 years and counting, I’ve bucked against it. Doesn’t everyone?
So, I want to encourage you to keep going! Your path is your path. Don’t let other people convince you you’re doing it wrong when you’re on the right path. You’ll try stuff, experiment, learn, change, and grow. You’ll listen to others, with respect. But you don’t need to feel inadequate or guilty for doing what works for you, in your setting, according to your shaping influences and your understanding of what is right. Keep going! Sometimes you’ll get it right and sometimes you’ll get it wrong. That happens even when humans try to do their best. Keep going when you decide to change paths. Keep going when God puts you on a different path. Keep going to become the kind of person you’re supposed to be. It’ll be OK.
Proverbs 1:8