Everyone has their stuff. We’re all going through something. And that something isn’t always easy. Sometimes it is, but it is often difficult. Even when we find true joy in what is going on in our lives, that does not make it easy. So today I’d like to encourage you with some ways to think when going through tough times.
Oh, and by the way, this is meant to consider in the standard, typical, stages of life. This is by no means going to be enough to help anyone going through the kind of hardship that requires outside help or intervention. In these paragraphs, there is no replacement of necessary assistance for physical, mental, or emotional wellbeing, and I would not try to discourage you from getting that assistance (Gal 6:2). I am hoping this can, however, help us as we seek to bear our own difficult but bearable burdens (Gal. 6:5).
There is an oft quoted phrase, “This too shall pass.” On the surface it is true and sort of helpful. It’s a pithy reminder that there are stages in life that come and go. Tomorrow may very well be different than today. But we do want to learn from today. So, let’s approach the day’s difficulties with an eye for growth and see how that goes. Here are some ideas to help.
You need this phase today.
Until proven otherwise, we really should believe that we will be better and more capable tomorrow than we are today. That means you (and I), personally, are perpetually in a fluid situation of becoming, more than in a static state of being. Your surroundings change. Your family changes. Your workplace changes. Your challenges change. Your needs change. Your changes change! Of course, I cannot prove it, but the only way to go through life, especially as a Bible-believer, is to assume today’s challenges are preparing you for tomorrow. Further, that goes for everyone around you, too. (Think about that in your relationships and see where it goes.) If you think of today’s hardship as preparation for who you’re going to be tomorrow (better, stronger, faster?), then it provides purpose. It matters because you matter.
What did you expect?
OK, this one might not sound so encouraging. But sometimes we just have to ask if our expectations for how things are supposed to go are even realistic. Like, if you thought your kids would always be adorable and polite, or that they would even like you all the time, well, I’m sorry but what were you thinking? If you thought you’d get good at your job and then they would never change it, you’re in the wrong century. If you expected that you could always win, especially if you did “everything right,” you’re not paying attention. I am not really trying to insult you. And changing expectations might not change reality. But it just seems to me if people adjusted their expectations a bit, reality would be less shocking and more manageable.
What can you control, really?
Oh, please don’t read this as a defeatist attitude. It’s not; we can control some things. Is your situation the result of your past actions? You can’t do anything about the past, but you can learn from it for the future. Can your present actions actually affect how things will work out? Yes! You might not be able to get all the outcomes you want in your life, but can you make small (or big!) course corrections? Yes. Can you choose to focus on personal character over outcomes? Yep. Can you lead by example in front of your family, your coworkers, and your church? Of course! If you give attention to what you can control, then suddenly you won’t be helpless in this world. You will be an author of your own story.
God is there.
Finally, a reminder for Christians. God is with you in the journey AND He Himself is the end of the journey. He is not the means, He is the end. Or rather, He is the means AND the end. He wants us to know Him in the times of our lives, and in the times to come. Any life that is committed to the knowledge of God according to His Word and Spirit, through faith in the death and resurrection of His Son, will be rewarded with a special understanding of your meaning and significance.
Any life that is committed to the knowledge of God according to His Word and Spirit, through faith in the death and resurrection of His Son, will be rewarded with a special understanding of your meaning and significance.
We can’t guarantee easy lives. Probably the opposite. But we can adjust our mindset to see our difficulties as opportunities to develop and grow stronger. We can manage our expectations. We can control our own actions whatever the outcome. This too shall pass. But while tomorrow might not be better, we can be better. If that’s what you seek, God will bless.
Is it possible to agree to disagree within your group?